Dating A Sister
by miarae
Summary: [COMPLETE] Riley comes back to Sunnydale, to find out Buffy has died. How does he move on? DR coupling
1. A New Day Starts At Dawn

A new day starts at Dawn  
  
Riley Finn stood by the sign that told him he was back.  
  
Sunnydale.  
  
It was two years since he had been there.  
  
A lot had happened. Graham had died. That was the thing that made him come back to Sunnydale. Willow needed to know. Graham had always had a weak spot for the redhead.  
  
He took his bag up from the ground and swung it onto his shoulder.  
  
Best not delaying the meeting that was inevitably going to come.  
  
Buffy Summers.  
  
She had been in his head every minute of the day he was in Belize. The pain he felt when he thought about her faded. But it still hurt. He still couldn't understand why she hadn't come to the helicopter that day.  
  
He got into his car and drove through the streets. Memories came back. Memories of his days in the Initiative, of his life with Buffy.  
  
He loved her the most when they were just walking hand in hand.  
  
He also thought of her friends.  
  
Willow, of which he knew she would be devastated by the news of Grahams death.  
  
Xander, who made him realise that he would only hurt himself by staying.  
  
And Dawn. He had missed her the most. She used to be like a little sister to him. Sweet little Dawnie. With a smile he remembered her spontanity, her sparkling lifestyle.  
  
Without knowing it he drove into the street where Buffy lived. Unconsciously his head had remembered the way, although it was more than two years since he rang the doorbell at the Summers residence.  
  
The house was dark. He realized Buffy was probably on patrol, but he had expected Dawn to be at home. A little dissapointed he drove further, his mind focused on where to spend the night.  
  
A young woman suddenly crossed the street right in front of his car. He hit the brakes with all the strength he had in him and pulled the steeringweel so he wouldn't hit the girl. His car smashed into a tree and a little dizzy he stepped out of the vehicle. He had to find out if she was allright. He looked upon the shivering girl who simply stood there watching him. At first he didn't recognize her.  
  
'Riley'  
  
her soft voice spoke.  
  
With a shock he realized it was Dawnie. No, it wasn't Dawnie. It was Dawn, the little girl he knew turned into a beautiful young woman. Yet she didn't look too happy. Her face made her look older then the seventeen years he knew she was. It was a face with grieve in it.  
  
'Dawn'  
  
he simply replied.  
  
Both were still a bit shaky.  
  
'so I almost literally bumped into you'  
  
He knew it sounded lame, but he was a little lost for words.  
  
A little smile showed up on her face.  
  
'What are you doing here? God.Riley'  
  
Her voice sounded happy and before he realised it they were hugging eachother. The way she held him made him realise something was off...something was wrong...very wrong.  
  
They were in her house. She lived on her own. He asked her why, and immediately her face lost the bright shiny look it had had upon it.  
  
'I couldn't stay at home anymore. It was too big for me'  
  
He didn't understand. He didn't even know if he wanted to understand. He saw how she looked at him, hating it to be the bearer of bad news.  
  
'Riley...Buffy died'  
  
She kept looking at him, expecting him to collapse. He didn't. It hurt, but it made things easier as well. He had always known his heart would belong to her as long as she lived. Maybe because of this he finally could move on.  
  
He felt his heart ache at his egocentric reasoning. Here he was, looking at her sister, who was in more pain than he ever saw on anybody's face, and he was thinking it was a good thing she died. He stood up and simply took her into his arms.  
  
'I'm sorry Dawn.what happened?'  
  
She explained everything to him. How she sacrificed her life to save the world, to save her sister. He felt a warm feeling for the girl who had turned him down so coldly. In the end she wasn't egocentric at all. She had given her life to save the world. Hot tears came streaming down his face. And there her arms were...hugging him, comforting him. Her fingers wiped away his tears, and her voice kept soothing him. It would be okay, she told him. Life was hard, but things would be okay. Eventually, there would be a new day.  
  
He stood there at her grave trying to ask her for forgiveness. All the time he was in Belize a part of him had hated her. Cursed her for not showing up the night he left. And now he knew. Yesterday Xander had told him. She came. She had been too late. The helicopter was flying away and she screamt for him so hard she couldn't speak for three days.  
  
He felt tears welling up in his eyes again.  
  
'I'm so sorry Buffy. I never should have left. Maybe then...maybe I could have helped...'  
  
Dawn came walking next to him as he left the cemetery. It wouldn't have been different, she told him. In the end...she would have died for humanity. It was the faith of being a Chosen One.  
  
He wondered how she could be so strong. In the last two years she had lost both her mother and her sister. And yet when he looked at her, she looked like she was coping with things better than he was. He felt guilty for all the times she wiped away his tears when he should have been the one to hold her when she was crying.  
  
But he couldn't be that strong. He had been through too much to be able to deal with things that easily. Belize had made him face his worst fears. He had seen his best friend fall in battle, when he wasn't able to do anything but watch him. Belize had been all about death.  
  
First, when he came there, he thought maybe he could die there. In battle. It would be a heroic death, and all people would remember the strong loyal Riley Finn...not the coward he had become when he ran away from the love of his life.  
  
Slowly he began to rebuild his life. Every day he woke up he felt a little less dead.  
  
She helped him with it. They spent a lot of time together. At first, decorating his room at Lowell House, which had been empty for two years. After that they went to the beach and watched movies at the cinema.  
  
Sometimes his own laughter surprised him. Was he really able to laugh so short after he learnt about Buffy's death?  
  
After a short while he realized it was Dawn who made him feel this way. And he was thankful for it.  
  
They were watching a movie at her house, some romantic thing she loved. He couldn't focus on the movie but instead watched her. `She is cute` he thought. His own thoughts surprised him. But suddenly it hit him. It was the start of a new day. And a new day starts at Dawn. 


	2. Am I Like My Sister?

Am I like my sister?  
  
Dear Diary,  
  
I knew I was in love with Riley the first time he stepped into our house. Of course, I knew he was Buffy's boyfriend, but I couldn't help wishing he was mine. And now he's here, spending time with me, and my sister is dead. I never thought I would stand a chance with him, I mean, I'm only seventeen and he is twentyfive...but sometimes...I don't know...there's something in the way he looks at me. Could it be? Could there be a chance for him and me? Am I like my sister?  
  
Am I like Buffy?  
  
It was a question Dawn frequently asked herself.  
  
She knew she didn't look like her sister at all, but sometimes her own laughter reminded her of Buffy a bit. She didn't know how she felt about it.\  
  
She didn't want to be like Buffy at all, because Buffy drove Riley away, but she felt like she was forgetting her sister already.  
  
The little things, her smile, her voice...sometimes she couldn't even remember her face.  
  
Those things made her sad, but Riley was there to make her smile.  
  
She knew he thought he wasn't helping her, but he really was. It were the little things, just going out and seeing a movie, or talking to him over a cup of coffee.  
  
She was making dinner and thinking of him, when he suddenly appeared behind her and scared her.  
  
She almost jumped and her heart was racing.  
  
'Don't ever do that again'  
  
She couldn't help smiling.  
  
'Thinking of someone?'  
  
His voice sounded playful.  
  
She almost started to blush.  
  
**if you only knew**  
  
She started to put dishes on the table to have something to do.  
  
'Yeah, there's someone I think about'  
  
The way it came out made clear that it was a boy-someone and not Buffy.  
  
'He must be very special if you think about him that much'  
  
Riley sat down at the table and started playing with his knife and fork.  
  
Dawn put the saucepan on the table and sat down opposite to him.  
  
'Yeah he is. He's very sweet and handsome'  
  
'Do I know him?'  
  
For one second she thought she heard jealousy in his voice.  
  
She played with the thought of lying to him for one second.  
  
'Yeah'  
  
She simply replied.  
  
He would have known if she lied, so it was no use.  
  
She saw him nodding out of the corner of her eye. She automatically picked up her knife and fork and starting eating.  
  
It was quiet for a while before he spoke again.  
  
'Who is it?'  
  
She looked up and he quickly came up with an excuse  
  
'I have to approve him, right?'  
  
She smiled.  
  
'You would approve him I'm sure'  
  
She carefully chewed on a piece of meat.  
  
Riley looked up and smiled. For one second she got afraid. Could it be that he knew? She held her breath until he spoke.  
  
'Well...don't go out with him before I've seen him okay ;)'  
  
She laughed and promised. It was an easy thing to promise.  
  
~~  
  
Together they painted her bedroom. She wanted it to have a different color. Ever since Buffy died she was sad, and her bedroom was painted some sort of grey. A color which now made her depressed. She bought yellow paint and asked Riley for help.  
  
It was a lot of fun being around him. She made sure he didn't know she liked him though.  
  
She felt paint dripping into her sleeve and giggled. Riley was totally covered in paint too, but the room looked good. Cheerful. She smiled at him and invited him to dinner.  
  
'I'm just going to jump in the shower. Let's get pizza afterwards okay?'  
  
He nodded and wrote down what pizza she liked while she walked upstairs and pulled off her clothes in the bathroom.  
  
While the hot water was running down her body she once again compared herself with Buffy. She knew she was pretty, but in her eyes Buffy had always been the most beautiful of the Summers girls.  
  
She wondered if Riley would ever look at her like he had looked at Buffy. Like she was the most beautiful creature in the whole wide world. Like nothing could keep them apart.  
  
She stepped out of the shower and picked up the towel she put on the chair.  
  
After drying herself with it she put it around her and brushed her hair in front of the mirror.  
  
She smiled at her image and saw Buffy's smile on her face.  
  
Walking out of the bathroom she bumped into Riley. She wanted to walk away when she noticed the look in his eyes. Suddenly she felt like she couldn't move anymore. His blue eyes were warm and she felt like she was drawn to him.  
  
Dawn couldn't stop looking at him. His hair was messy and there was some yellow paint on his face. He looked absolutely adorable.  
  
And for some reason he couldn't keep his eyes off her either.  
  
They both didn't move for what seemed like an eternity.  
  
Two or three times it looked like he was going to say something, but before the words left his mouth he stopped them. She was wondering what was going on with him.  
  
She was beginning to feel uncomfortable.  
  
She opened her mouth to say something when suddenly he moved.  
  
Before she could fully understand what he was going to do she felt his lips pressing on hers.  
  
And as she kissed back she wondered once again.  
  
Am I like my sister? 


	3. There's A Time For Everything

When Riley first kissed Dawn, and she decided to kiss him back, he knew it was going to complicated. How in the world was he going to tell her about the vampires? About the darkness that almost overtook him?  
  
Their first kiss was short but passionate. When they let go of eachother he saw the happiness in her eyes, but also fear. Fear of being like her sister. He knew that because that was what he feared too. He feared she would run if she found out about his past.  
  
She was a bit insecure, though he found her adorable in her towel. He went in the shower, she dressed, and they ate pizza.  
  
He wondered why it had taken him so long to notice her, and then realized she was just fourteen when the whole Buffy-thing began.  
  
He wondered if things would have been different if she had been the eldest, if she had been the slayer and if they had been together. He wondered to which extent she was like Buffy.  
  
He would find out. But not now. Right now he was happy just watching her eat her pizza. Gazing into her beautiful eyes and see the love that was obviously for him. He already knew she was different in that. She loved him, only him, she needed him. But he also felt a bit guilty. Did he need her in the same way as she did? Or was this faith backfiring him? Was she going to be the Riley in the Buffy-Angel situation?  
  
The next morning he woke up and for a moment he thought he was still dreaming. There was somebody in his arms. Not the blonde girl he was used to, but a smaller brownhaired girl who was still peacefully asleep.  
  
He tried to recover what happened the night before. They kissed, and ate pizza. But after that it all become sort of blurry. That probably had something to do with the three bears he drank. And with the gorgeous girl next to him whose kisses made him dizzy.  
  
She stirred and opened up her eyes. She was still a bit sleepy but her smile already made him feel weak. He leant over and kissed her softly. She responded quickly, her lips parting and her tongue finding his. He pulled her closer into his arms and felt her warm fingers running over his arm.  
  
Running over his...he couldn't help tightening his muscles. The two little round scars reminded him of things he didn't want to be reminded off.  
  
She didn't notice, or pretended not to notice. She kept on kissing him until he forgot all about the scars and actively kissed her back. They kissed until they were both breathless.  
  
They spent the day in bed.  
  
Talking about their pasts, about things that had happened while he was in Belize and she was stuck in Sunnydale.  
  
They talked about their futures. He didn't know what he was going to do now. The Initiative in Sunnydale was no longer there, and without Graham or Forrest he didn't feel like being there anyway. Perhaps he could become a Psychology professor. He had his degree after all.  
  
She responded happily that she was planning on studying Psychology. They laughed and kissed again.  
  
She told him she was still a virgin and he replied there was a time for everything. He wasn't planning on rushing into anything.  
  
The whole day was like heaven. They didn't even think about food until she heard his stomach protest. She quickly got out of bed and fixed them some sandwiches.  
  
He stayed in bed watching the ceiling.  
  
He was really lucky to have stumbled upon Dawn again. She made him happy and for the first time after he left Sunnydale two years ago he dared to dream about a future.  
  
He only had to tell her some things first. He wanted to have a fair chance with her, but to have that he needed to tell her everything about his past.  
  
She came walking back into the room and asked him what he was thinking about. He smiled and took her hand. This wasn't the right time or place. He kissed her softly and she seemed to forget her question.  
  
He sighed inwardly. He was going to tell her. One day. When the time was right. 


	4. The Time Is Now

**Today it's going to happen**  
  
Dawn thought as she was walking to his place on campus. She was in a very good mood, because she had heard that she had passed her exams, and could go to college.  
  
She was on her way to Rileys place when she suddenly realized she was ready.  
  
She checked herself and checked herself again. She was wearing a dress with small flowers printed upon it, and her hair was hanging in a braid on her back.  
  
With a little smile around her mouth she walked up to the bench Riley was sitting on. His lap and the bench were covered with papers. She knew he was studying for his oral exam, so he would be accepted as a Professor at UC Sunnydale.  
  
'Hey'  
  
She couldn't even stop smiling. He immediately noticed the happiness in her voice and looked up.  
  
'I graduated'  
  
The words barely left her mouth or he hugged her and congratulated her. Their lips met in a soft kiss which turned out to be a lot more passionate than she expected. He looked at her with a grin.  
  
'That calls for a celebration'  
  
He shoved his papers away and pulled her onto his lap. Once again their lips met and his hands found their way under her short dress. She smiled. It was almost like he knew she was ready. She kissed him once again and stood up. For a moment he looked sad but when she reached out for him he understood what she was up to.  
  
'Give me a second to get my stuff'  
  
He began gathering all the papers and stuffing them in a small backpack.  
  
They walked hand in hand to his room, both were silent, carefully trying not to break the moment. She had seen in his eyes that he knew she wanted it, and was grateful he didn't ask her if she was sure.  
  
He opened the door and let her in first. She walked to his bed and sat upon it as he closed the door. She felt a bit nervous and her heart was racing, but he looked at her with love in his eyes, so she wasn't even scared for one moment.  
  
He kneeled down on the floor and began taking off her shoes. She almost giggled but bit on her lip to hold it back. She didn't want him to think he was silly.  
  
Slowly he got up from the floor and kissed her while gently pushing her onto the bed. She felt butterflies racing in her stomach and kissed him back.  
  
His tongue left her mouth and trailed down to her neck where he stopped to kiss her sensitive spot. His mouth lingered there for a while, while his hands found her breasts and gently caressed them.  
  
Soon he had her moaning with pleasure, and her small hands went up under his shirts to tug his nipples. He couldn't help but moaning too. She pulled off his shirt and lifted up a bit so she could kiss him.  
  
He gently lowered himself, leaning on his elbows so he wouldn't put his whole weight upon her. She smiled at him and they kissed again.  
  
He slowly pulled at her dress and she helped him so he could take it off. Underneath she wore a red bra and a red string which for a moment took his breath away. She could hear him gasping and smiled. This was going to be so good.  
  
They were still kissing and her hands wandered down his body to his fly. She zipped the fly and pulled off his jeans. She felt he was already getting hard when her hand brushed his cock. He let out a little moan and she smiled. Her hand slowly went into his boxers and she started to drive him insane.  
  
His hands found the clip of her bra and quickly he took it off. His warm mouth closed on one of her nipples and she panted. She wanted him now, more than ever. And she knew he wanted her as well. She could see it in his eyes. She kissed him, as a reassurance of how ready she was for him. He slowly took of her panties and started kissing her neck and her breasts. One hand slowly started caressing her most intimate part.  
  
While her one hand was firmly around his cock the other unconsciously kept touching the little bitemarks on his arm. She didn't know she was doing it, and if she had known, she still wouldn't have understood why all of the sudden he was so cold.  
  
'Stop that'  
  
It was almost like a yell. She felt confused and all of the sudden turned down. Was she doing something wrong? She thought he liked it. For all she knew his comment was about her hand in his boxers. She tried to smile, knowing for sure he would gently explain why he had said it.  
  
But when she looked up into his eyes she didn't see the love that had been there the whole afternoon. His eyes were cold as ice and it felt like they were piercing through her.  
  
Quickly she stood up and gathered her clothes, trying her best not to break down and cry. Why was he turning her down so coldly? Didn't it mean anything to him that she was about to give up her virginity? She couldn't prevent the tears from falling and her voice was shaky when she spoke.  
  
'I thought you liked it...I'm sorry'  
  
Before he could reply she was out of his door.  
  
Dawn kept running until she saw her house. She tried really hard not to think about what Riley had done, for she didn't understand it at all. Why did he go from loving her to suddenly hating her?  
  
She was about to unlock the door when she heard his voice from behind her. Her heart jumped up but she quickly noticed the cool tone in his voice.  
  
'Go inside. We've got to talk'  
  
She didn't know what else to do, so she went in and sat on the couch. He came sitting next to her, but kept looking at something else. She got scared and sad, maybe he had come to break up, but she didn't ask. She waited for him to speak. 


	5. Closer Than Before

Closer than before  
  
When Dawn ran out the door Riley suddenly realized she hadn't known she was touching the scars. He immediately felt guilty about the way he reacted, the tears he'd caused her. He had seen the hurt in her eyes when she looked up at him, but at that time the memories were still too fresh to be thinking of anything else.  
  
So now he was sitting on her couch. He knew his voice was cold and he was distant, and he knew it was making her hurt even more, but he didn't want to make up before he could have explained exactly everything that she needed to know. It was time he told her about the scars, and he didn't want her in his arms before she knew. He was too scared she might just want to run away after she'd heard it and he didn't think he could stand another rejection. So he sat on one side of the couch while Dawn sat on the other, and tried hard to find the right words to start.  
  
'When I was with Buffy'  
  
He lingered for a moment. Ever since they became lovers they hadn't talked about Buffy at all. So now her name was out in the open again.  
  
For a second he closed his eyes and recalled the memory of their break-up.  
  
'I always felt insecure. She had had Angel before me, and he was the love of her life. She even gave him her blood so he could live. After that, there was Dracula. She didn't love him, but she still allowed him to bite her'  
  
He took a long breath before continuing.  
  
'I became insecure about who I was, if I was what Buffy needed. I thought she needed a little more darkness in her lovers'  
  
She was about to comment on his words but he silenced her with just his look.  
  
'Please let me finish my story...I need you to understand'  
  
He went up to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water before returning to the couch.  
  
'That was one of the reasons something happened'  
  
He knew it sounded vague, but he wanted her to understand it hadn't been just an impulse.  
  
'Reason number two is that she never needed me. At least not in the way I needed her. Frankly, I didn't think she needed me at all.'  
  
Once again he took a deep breath and he looked up into her eyes. He could see she didn't understand.  
  
'The day before I left for Belize, Buffy caught me getting bloodsucked by a vampire whore'  
  
There...he had said it. There was no way back now.  
  
She was silent for a moment.  
  
'Did it happen more times than just that time Buffy caught you?'  
  
He nodded.  
  
'They needed something from me. They needed my blood and that was still a lot more than what Buffy ever needed from me.'  
  
She looked up at him and took his hand in hers.  
  
'That's in the past Riley...whatever you did with Buffy, it made you who you are.'  
  
'I became a shallow version of the man I was. I was a coward to run away'  
  
She smiled.  
  
'But you're not running away now. You're talking to me. And you're not a shallow version of yourself anymore. Whatever horrors you faced in Belize, it made you stronger.'  
  
She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly.  
  
'I love you Riley Finn, and whatever happened in the past, it's over now.'  
  
She carressed the little bitemarks on his arm.  
  
'I thought you wanted me to stop giving you a handjob. I was so scared I did something wrong'  
  
Tears appeared in her eyes and he suddenly felt guilty again. He took her into his arms en stroked through her hair.  
  
'Baby no...you were doing it wonderful...and I loved it...as much as I love you'  
  
He gazed into her eyes and kissed away the tears.  
  
'It was just, when you kept touching those bitemarks I got scared. The memories came back and I was afraid you would run...just like Buffy had done'  
  
Dawn looked up into his eyes and asked the question that had kept her mind occupied for so long.  
  
'Am I like Buffy?'  
  
He seemed to think about that for a moment, then smiled.  
  
'You're both special, but you're completely different as well. For one thing, you love me. Buffy never could'  
  
She smiled through her tears and kissed him again.  
  
'I could never stop loving you Riley'  
  
He took her into his arms and kissed her all over her pretty face.  
  
'I'm sorry I hurt you baby, and please don't think you weren't any good. I'm sorry I spoiled it for you'  
  
She looked back at him and gave him a reassuring smile.  
  
'You didn't spoil it for me'  
  
Suddenly her eyes went all sparkly and he knew she was up to something.  
  
Standing up she casted him one quick glance over her shoulder before adding  
  
'I've got a bed here too' 


	6. First Time

First time ---for real (warning: strong R-rated scene!)  
  
Dawn tried to hide the fact that somehow Rileys words had made her unsure. She understood why he had done it, but it made her wonder if he would ever do it because of her. If it meant that he loved Buffy more than he could ever love her. But when she looked into his eyes she knew he loved her. In what way she didn't know, she just hoped he needed her as much as she needed him.  
  
She walked into her bedroom and put the picture of Buffy in her drawer. She loved her sister dearly, but to have her watch while she was making love to her ex-boyfriend somehow didn't sound like a good idea. She was still wearing the summerdress she wore when she came to his house.  
  
Riley entered the room after her and put his arms around her waist so she was leaning against his chest. One of his hands went up and stroked her breast until she felt her nipple getting hard. He gently tugged it and made her moan softly.  
  
She turned around so they were facing eachother and stood on tiptoe to kiss him. He kissed her back and lifted her so he could easily push her down on the bed. She touched the scars on his arm while looking into his eyes, proving him that it didn't matter to her. He returned her gesture with a loving smile.  
  
She had had some experience with him already, he had gone down on her a couple of times, and she had returned the favour. At first reluctantly, as he was very big, but when she found out he enjoyed it she had learned to enjoy it too. She was glad that he never forced anything upon her, and therefore she loved being close to him and making him feel good.  
  
She loved feeling his hands running up and down her body, and when his warm mouth found her sensitive spot she just went all weak.  
  
Dawn was still lying on her bed and Riley slowly took her dress off. After that she helped him out of his shirt and watched his body in awe. He was so strong and muscly, yet not like a bodybuilder. She loved being in his arms, for it made her feel safe and loved.  
  
Her hands were already in his boxers and he moaned softly, while he kept kissing her over and over again. She was a little lost for breath but didn't want him to stop. He caressed her breasts and took one of them in his mouth. She panted when he softly bit the nipple. She felt him getting hard as he started to stroke her clitoris.  
  
She was about to go down on him when he stopped her. He looked into her eyes and kissed her.  
  
'Not today' He said 'this is about you'  
  
When she tried to protest he softly kissed her arguments away and left her behind with butterflies racing in her stomach.  
  
He kissed her breasts and paid fair attention to each before kissing his way down to her panties. She got goosebumps all over her body when he slowly took her string off.  
  
She loved this particular aspect of lovemaking, the moment before he started to pleasure her. She always felt like a little kid did right before he was allowed to open his presents.  
  
His tongue darted out and started caressing her clitoris. Soon he had her moaning with pleasure, but his crueller side didn't allow her to come. He wanted her to want him.  
  
She wanted him so much but had learned to practise patience. Riley was an attentive lover, and he would make sure she would enjoy this the whole way through.  
  
Taking off his boxers he reached into his jeans and found a condom. They had never talked about condoms, and although she was using the pill she was happy he took the protection for granted.  
  
When he first entered her, it hurted a bit, but much less than she had expected. He gave her time to adjust to him, before he started moving. She started stroking his back while they kissed, and he kept looking at her face to see how she felt. Slowly his fingers found her clitoris again and he kept caressing it until she came crying out his name. It wasn't until after that, that he allowed himself to come as well.  
  
Dawn was lying on her back, looking at the ceiling. Her heart was still beating fast and she was covered in sweat. Next to her Riley was still panting. They were holding hands and stayed silent for a moment. When he turned to face her he smiled and asked if it had been good for her. She smiled back and told him it had been wonderful.  
  
He took her into his arms and they cuddled for a while, before drifting off to sleep. 


	7. Silence

Silence  
  
Riley wondered what was wrong with his girlfriend. Dawn had been quiet all week long, and though it was summer she was wearing sweaters and long jeans. They had gone out to the movies tonight but everytime he touched her she seemed to back away. Finally he had just stopped trying to touch her and asked her what was wrong.  
  
'Dawn what is wrong?'  
  
They stood in front of her house, and she had been busy opening the door.  
  
'Nothing, why?'  
  
Her hand was shaky and she couldn't get the key into the lock.  
  
'You've been quiet with me all week. Ever since we made love you won't allow me to touch you, everytime I get close to you you pull away...'  
  
'It's nothing'  
  
She finally managed to open the door and held it open for him to come in.  
  
'I don't think I should'  
  
'Why not?'  
  
'You're not speaking to me, you're hiding something...you promised to talk to me...that's what broke Buffy and me up...not talking'  
  
He couldn't help comparing her with Buffy this one time. He was desperate to make this work, but how could he, when she did the same thing her sister did?  
  
'I'm not! There's nothing wrong'  
  
Her voice pleaded to him to believe her. She couldn't look him straight in the eyes though.  
  
'I know there is. You don't even look at me...I can't take this Dawn...talk to me...please...'  
  
He hoped he had persuaded her to talk. But when she spoke his heart broke.  
  
'There's nothing wrong. There just isn't...please believe me'  
  
He couldn't. He knew she was lying. In silence he walked home, without even saying goodbye to her.  
  
When someone approached him he tried to avoid her, he wasn't really in the mood for chitchat. Neither was she, he saw, when he saw her face in the lantern light.  
  
'Hello gorgeous'  
  
She tried to smile, showing her fangs. He knew her from long ago, she stirred up memories he'd rather forget.  
  
'Leave me alone or I'll dust you'  
  
Her laugh made him furious. He didn't need this shit, not now.  
  
'I mean it'  
  
She went over to him and touched the scars on his arm.  
  
'You had it before...you felt lonely...and now you're feeling lonely again'  
  
He couldn't deny he was. Her cold fingers ran up and down his arm and made him feel a little more alive. Before he knew what he was doing he was handing the cash over to her and she started sucking his arm.  
  
'O god...it feels so...ah...do it harder'  
  
He leant against a wall and felt his body heat up. When he opened up his eyes for a second he saw Dawns face. Shocked. Before he could react she ran away. He dusted the vamp and sat down leaning against the wall, hiding his face in his hands. It was all a mess. 


	8. Broken

Broken  
  
Dawn couldn't believe she actually saw that happen. Everytime she replayed the scene in her head she got sick. She couldn't understand it had happened. That Riley had actually allowed a vampire to suck his arm. Again.  
  
She had been on her way to tell him what was wrong, but now she walked home again. She didn't know if he had seen her, and right now she didn't care. Afer closing and locking the door she fell on her bed and cried her eyes out. She couldn't believe that this had all really happened. It felt like it had been a bad dream.  
  
He knocked on her bedroom door. She knew he had the key to her house but she hadn't expected he had the nerve to actually come in.  
  
Quickly she wept away her tears and turned around to face him.  
  
The look on his face made her heart go out to him. Yet she remained silent, wanting him to start the explanation. At first he hesitated, and then he walked over to the bed and sat down.  
  
'There's no excuse for what you saw'  
  
His voice sounded weak and he hid his face in his hands again. She had seen him cry before, but this time she couldn't stand it. She took him into her arms and started stroking through his hair.  
  
'It's okay'  
  
Her voice was hoarse from all the tears she'd cried  
  
'it was my fault. I should have told you what happened'  
  
He looked up and gazed into her eyes. She didn't know what she was saying. Was she actually forgiving him. Already?  
  
'What happened?'  
  
She couldn't stand to look into his eyes and see the hurt that would appear there. So she looked down at her hands, who nervously played with his shirt.  
  
'The day after we made love I was walking in the city. Suddenly two guys came out of nowhere and I...'  
  
She hated saying the word  
  
'I got raped'  
  
Riley put his arms around her and tried to comfort her. She immediately felt safe and leaned into his strength and warmth.  
  
'I'm so sorry baby'  
  
He stroked through her hair and looked up into her eyes  
  
'god I've been such an asshole. I shouldn't have walked away. I should have stayed with you and not force you to talk and...'  
  
She put a finger onto his lips and silenced him with a kiss.  
  
'It's not your fault'  
  
She felt tears welling up in her eyes  
  
'and it's not your fault that you did that with that vampire...you were right...I was shutting you out...just like Buffy did...'  
  
'No baby...no...you're not like Buffy...that was mean of me to say that...'  
  
He touched her face and kissed her cheek.  
  
'You're so much better than Buffy...it wasn't wrong of you to keep silent...I would have been scared too.'  
  
She felt hot tears trickeling down her face.  
  
'I was so scared you wouldn't want me anymore...that you would say that it was my fault because I dress too sexy or something...'  
  
He comforted her, swore that he wouldn't never ever hold something like that against her, and that he would protect her forever. He would never leave. Never ever. 


	9. Huxley

Huxley (part 9)  
  
Riley felt like he had to do something. Ever since Dawn got raped she was scared to walk around in Sunnydale. She needed a break. His parents invitation came at exactly the right moment. They were curious to meet Dawn and he wanted them to meet her very much.  
  
They were in her house, she didn't get out much these days. They were okay, eventhough they hadn't made love anymore after that time. But she felt safe in his arms. He was sitting on the bench, holding her, while they were watching a movie.

'Dawn?'

It was obvious in his voice that he wanted to ask her something serious, so she took the remote control and stopped the video. After that she turned over so she could see his eyes.

'Yeah?'

'I got a call from my parents today...they would love to meet you...so I was thinking...maybe we could both take a break and go to Huxley'

Her reaction made him smile. She loved the idea, and for the first time in a very long time her eyes became all sparkly again. This was exactly what she needed.

* * *

Holding hands they walked out of the airport. Outside his parents were waiting. His father, his mother and his younger brother. They all hugged Dawn and made her feel instantly welcome. He couldn't love his parents more than he did at that exact moment. The only thing that spoiled his happiness a bit was the look his younger brother had when he saw Dawn. It was lust. Obviously.  
  
He thought it would fade, but after a couple of hours he still saw his brother looking at her that way. It made him furious, as well as insecure. He knew Dawn loved him, but Marc looked a lot like him, only he was nineteen. More Dawns age, he reluctantly admitted. Suddenly he felt old and not good enough. And when he saw Dawn acting nice to him he went all jealous, trying to find some clue that she liked Marc better than she liked him.

* * *

Dawn was outside, talking to Marc. He was nice to her, and she liked him, because he was Rileys brother. They were sitting on a bench and he told her stuff about Huxley and the farm. She giggled when she tried to picture Riley milking the cows and riding horses. She didn't notice the looks Marc was giving her.

'So...wanna ride horses with me tomorrowmorning?'

She hesitated. Maybe Riley would want to show her the environment, but Marc interrupted her thoughts.

'Riley will have to work all day tomorrow, helping on the farm. So you will be on your own all day, unless you want me to hang out with you'

She didn't see any harm in it, so when Riley asked her what she was going to do the next morning she said she would spend the day with Marc. She didn't notice the sudden harshness of his face, the cold way he commented on her plans.  
  
That night, when she went to sleep, she walked over to his bedroom, for they always slept together. He stood in the doorway and told her to go to her own room. She didn't understand why, but when she asked him, he avoided her question. She thought maybe it had something to do with his parents. She knew they were religious, and probably they didn't approve of pre-marital sex. So she went up to the guestroom and fell asleep there.  
  
Next morning he was already gone when she woke up. When she went downstairs to get breakfast she found only Marc sitting there.

'Am I late?'

Suddenly she felt uncomfortable. Why hadn't they woken her up? Marc smiled.

'My parents have been up since six o'clock, but it's okay. My mom wanted you to have a good nights rest'

She sat down at the kitchentable and took a sandwich from a plate. It was nine o'clock, so she overslept three hours. Why didn't Riley say something? He knew she hated the thought that she wouldn't fit in, and she had thought he would have filled her in on the rules around here.

'Where's Riley?'

Marc shrugged.

'Dunno'

He said, while pouring her a big glass of juice

'he was gone before mom and dad were even downstairs'

* * *

Marc smiled while they walked over to the horses. He knew his big brother was jealous of the attention Dawn was paying him, and it felt good. He never had any fights with his brother, but he had decided it was definitely worth to fight over this girl. From the moment he had laid his eyes on her he had known he wanted to have this girl. And he wasn't going to give up before he had her. There was something special about her, and when he thought of his brother who was able to kiss her, he got blinded with jealousy. Dawn had to be his. Even if that meant playing a dirty game.  
  
They rode over beautiful hills and he showed her the whole farm, while telling her funny stories about what had happened here and there. Her laughter drove him insane, and as he casted a glance into the barn Riley had heard it too. They exchanged a quick look, and Marc knew Riley was insane with jealousy.


	10. Huxley Again

Huxley again (Part 10)  
  
Riley was fuming with anger. His little brother was definitely after Dawn, that much was sure, but Dawn seemed to like him back. He had watched them ride their horses, and the smile on her face was enough to make him jealous. He hadn't seen that gorgeous smile since she got raped, eventhough he had tried everything he could to make her smile. And now his little brother got her smiling with just a stupid joke. He threw the hayfork in the barn and walked outside. His dad was busy milking the cows, and didn't notice his eldest son was so confused.

* * *

Dawn was still with Marc, and they had fun together. The reason why she liked being around him so much was because he didn't know of the rape. He didn't treat her like she could break any second, and therefor she could forget it while she was around him. When Riley was with her, it made her think of the rape almost constantly. It didn't mean she didn't love being around Riley, but because he was busy working, she saw no harm in spending the day with someone she liked. She didn't know Riley was acting so strange because he was jealous. She didn't understand at all why he was avoiding her, but because he had told her his parents were deeply religious she expected that to be the reason of his behaviour.

* * *

Marc knew his brother was angry. He could see it in the big steps and the cramped shoulders Riley had when he walked out of the barn. He knew his brother was jealous, and since he was not easily made jealous it made him think he might have a chance with Dawn after all. She seemed to enjoy his company, and said yes to almost all his plans. When he invited her to go to the city with him that night she accepted without even thinking about it. He smiled inwardly. Maybe this was going to be easier than he thought.

* * *

They ate in silence. It wasn't the comfy, we-don't-have-to-say-anything- silence though. It was an awkward silence, in which Bob and Patty tried to fill the silence by asking Dawn and Riley questions about their relationship.  
  
'So you love him very much?'  
  
Patty filled Dawns glass with water before she sat down. Dawn looked at Riley. Yes she did. But something in the way he acted made her insecure. It made her voice shake when she answered.  
  
'Yeah I love him very much'  
  
Riley looked up at her for one second. Her voice was shaky...it sounded like a lie. Like she wasn't sure about her love for him anymore. He stood up from the table and walked out without saying a word. Dawn got up and went after him.  
  
'Riley?'  
  
She was afraid to come too close. He looked so angry.  
  
'what's wrong?'  
  
He didn't answer, didn't even turn around to face her. It made her sad and insecure. Was it something she had done that made him so angry? Didn't he love her anymore? When he stayed silent she had trouble fighting her tears.  
  
'Right...I get it...I'll just leave you alone'  
  
She walked back into the house, went straight through the kitchen and climbed up the stairs. Inside the guestroom she fell on her bed and cried her eyes out.

* * *

He knew she would probably need some comfort now. Or some fun. So Marc went up to her bedroom and asked her if she still wanted to go out with him. If it was the fact that she wanted to get back at Riley, or something else, he didn't know, but she accepted his offer and told him she would be ready in a few minutes. He went downstairs and told his mother he would show Dawn the city, loud enough for Riley to hear it. His mother looked from Riley to Marc and back.  
  
'Why don't you take your brother with you?'  
  
She tried to mend the bond between the two brothers.  
  
'No thanks mother, if she's rather with him than with me I don't want to be in her way'  
  
Riley's voice sounded coolly, and he walked out of the kitchen with an air that said I don't care. 


	11. Triangle

**Triangle (part 11)**

Ofcourse he cared, it was obvious he did. He sat outside and played with one of the dogs. His thoughts kept wandering to Dawn, to Marc, to whatever the hell they were doing. Why was she going out with him? It was almost like the love she had felt for him turned into friendship. She was on a date with his brother now, they were probably dancing somewhere, and Marc would compliment her on the way she looked. He tried to remember what she was wearing. Her red dress. It made him a little sad. She had worn the dress on the very first date they had ever had. Where was he? Ow yeah...Marc would compliment her on the way she looked...she did look gorgeous, he knew it. He would buy her drinks, and dance with her all night. Later on in the evening the dj would play slow songs, and they would slowdance for a long time...then he would kiss her...and she...

He stood up and hit the wall with his fist. He didn't even feel the pain, eventhough he could see his hand was bleeding. He was so angry he felt like he would break his brothers neck if he touched Dawn with one finger. He made his decision. Quickly he went inside and got the carkeys. If he was going to lose her to his brother, it wasn't going to be without a fight.

They were indeed dancing, but it wasn't slowdancing. The dj had played one slowdance song, and Marc had tried to pull her into his arms, but she had pushed him away and had gone to the bathroom. After that, there were only up-tempo songs, so they danced apart from eachother. He did compliment her about the way she looked, and she just smiled. She knew he was coming on to her and it made her feel uncomfortable. Yes, she was angry with Riley, but it didn't mean she was going to throw herself into his brothers arms.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw someone coming into the club, pushing people to the side to reach the person he wanted to reach. It happened so fast she couldn't stop him. One moment he was standing between them and the next moment he hit Marc to the ground. After that he turned around to face her. She had never seen him so angry.

'You're coming home with me'

His jaw was tight and his voice sounded coolly.

'Are you insane?! What did you do that for?'

He grabbed her arm tightly and started to walk to the exit.

'Let go of me!'

She tried to pull her arm back. He was hurting her.

'You're hurting me!'

He didn't let go, he didn't even loosen his grip. She had had it with him. With all her strength she pulled her arm back and hit him.

'You have gone too far Riley Finn!'

She saw his cheek turn red and with all her dignity she walked out of the club.

Marc got up, a little dizzy from the punch his brother gave him. His nose was bleeding and his head hurt. He looked up and saw Riley standing there, a little dazed, with a clear handprint on his cheek. He suddenly felt sorry for his brother, and realized he had taken it too far.

'I deserved that punch'

He held his hand under his nose so the blood wouldn't spill all over his clothes.

'I'm sorry...'

Riley looked at his little brother, and realized he spoke the truth. They had both taken it too seriously. It didn't matter what they wanted, it only mattered what Dawn wanted. The mere thought of her got him scared again. What if she wanted Marc? Suddenly he thought about the rape, about how sad she had been, and how Marc had made her smile.

_If she wants him_ he thought, _then I'm letting him have her._

With that thought he put his arm around his brothers shoulder and walked home.

* * *

He was still scared, scared to lose her, but determined to let her speak her mind, and willing to give her up for her happiness. He knocked on her door and waited for her to answer.

When she opened the door, he could see she had cried all the way home. He felt guilty for playing it so dirty.

'Can I come in?'

His voice sounded soft.

She didn't answer, but just opened the door a little further and returned to her bed. She looked so small and fragile, and he could see the fingerprints of where he had grabbed her arm. He was feeling so guilty for one moment he didn't know what to say.

'Dawn...'

He hesitated for a moment

'I am so sorry...I've been an asshole'

'A big one'

He could see the hurt in her eyes. No anger, just really big hurt. He had to swallow a few times before he could continue.

'I was scared to lose you to Marc. He made you smile, and I realized I hadn't seen you smile ever since you got raped...and when you spent so much time with him I thought you liked him better and I got all jealous and that's why I acted so stupid but if you like him better than you like me I'm willing to give you up for your happiness'

There...he had said it. He took a deep breath and waited for her answer.


	12. Just The Two Of Us

**I am Soooooo sorry! This fic has been lingering on my computer since forever, and I basically hate it because back when I wrote it I wasn't a very good writer. Anyway because I haven't had to write updates for this story I forgot to update at all. So sorry! Anyway that was one mean cliffhanger so I hope you'll forgive me!**

Just the two of us (part 12)

She looked at him with great disbelief in her eyes. That lasted for a couple of seconds, after which tears filled her eyes and she started crying. He didn't know what to do, whether to take her into his arms, or just stay where he was. Finally he decided to pull her towards him, and she leant into his comforting arms.

'How...how can you think I don't love you' She sobbed. 'I love you so much'

Tears streamed down her face. He kept wiping them away and held her in his arms. His heart was racing, but he felt guilty for causing her all this pain. Where had things gone wrong?

She looked up at him and saw that his cheek was still red. With one finger she slowly carressed the spot.

'Marc made me laugh because he didn't know about the rape...so when I was with him I didn't have to think about it...'

Her confession hurt him a little.

'So with me you have to think about it all the time?'

She couldn't help nodding. It was the truth, even if it hurt him, she had to tell him.

'It's not because of you...but you treat me like I'm so fragile...and that's good...but that makes me remember it more too...and it's not that I don't love being around you cause I do...but it was just fun to think of something else for a while...and I didn't know it hurt you so much'

He looked at her and stroked through her hair.

'Did he try something?'

Dawn looked into his eyes.

'I didn't know he liked me until tonight...if I had known I wouldn't have spent so much time with him...I'm so sorry'

'Sweety...it's not your fault...I was just jealous and stupid...but you're so beautiful...and I love you so much...I was just so scared I would lose you'

She pulled him closer to her and kissed him with all the love she had in her.

'You won't ever lose me.'

After that she looked at him.

'And no...he didn't try anything...well...just slowdancing, but I didn't want that...'

A little smile crossed her face.

'That...and me...that's all for you...'

He couldn't help but smiling. He loved her so much. He kissed her forehead and lingered there for a while, before gently kissing her. She responded quickly, her arms around his neck and her hands finding their way in his hair, she opened her mouth for his tongue. A small moment later they were kissing passionately on her bed. He was on top of her and his hands slid under her shirt. There he paused for a moment. They hadn't gone further since she had been raped. She looked at him with a hesitation in her eyes.

'Riley?'

He heard she had something serious to ask him so he stopped kissing her neck to look at her for a moment. He thought he would see fear in her eyes, but he just saw love and desire.

'do...do your parents dissapprove of pre-marital sex?'

He kissed her nose.

'Did you think that's why I wouldn't let you sleep with me?'

'You said your parents were deeply religious'

'Yeah they are...but they understand the world has changed...and they know I'm not a virgin anymore...they don't really like that, but it's okay for me to have sex if it's with someone I really love'

Her eyes went all sparkly and he had to hold his breath for a second. She kissed him again and he surrendered.

They were both sweaty and hungry for eachother. It felt a bit like a wrestlingcompetition, they both tried to undress eachother as quickly as possible. He could feel her desire for him in her kisses, in the impatient way she pulled at his clothes. He tried to help her take off his shirt while at the same time he tugged at her jeans. She craved to feel him inside her, had never wanted him anymore than she did right then and there. She pulled his jeans down, his boxers alongside with it. The way he kissed her just drove her insane. She was so hungry for him she almost tore her panties while trying to get out of her clothes as soon as possible.

She could feel he was as ready as he was, that they could skip the forplay and go straight to the lovemaking. When he tried to reach into a drawer to get out a condom she stopped him. He looked at her with a questioning look in his eyes. She shook her head and heard the sigh he gave when he let go of the breath he had held.

'Are you...are you sure?'

She hesitated for one second, then nodded. She was sure. She wanted him, not just him, but all of him. She wanted him inside her, without the barrier of a condom. She knew it would be better for him too, and all she wanted to do was make him happy.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her while he slid into her moist channel. She moaned and snuggled up closer to him. It didn't take long for them both to come, and afterwards they lied together, all wrapped up into eachother, looking deep into eachothers eyes. And for the first time since weeks she felt like this was exactly right.


End file.
